Impossible Girl
by Ensignily
Summary: Mr. Jack Kelly is a young cartoonist and public advocate, candidate for public office. He's well acquainted with the famous publisher Joseph Pulitzer and his daughter, Katherine. One night, Katherine shows up at his door and just won't leave. Based off "An Embarrassing Position" by Kate Chopin.


Jack stood with his back to the fireplace, lighting the cigar that hung loosely from his lips. His friend and servant, Romeo, busied himself with cleaning up the room, removing the evidence of a rather exciting bachelor party that'd occurred earlier that evening.

"Don't bother with that, Romeo. You can leave it for the morning." Jack said.

"Mister Jack, you do your job, an' I'll do mines," Romeo countered, "Though with the mess youse made out here, I'd hardly call that work!" He gestured to the mess around the room: bottles, poker chips, and playing cards were scattered across the room. It was a miracle that any of the boys actually made it out the door conscious.

"Hey now, it was a _political meeting,_ " Jack defended. "An' I'm payin' you either way, so why don't you just go get some shuteye, alright?" He smiled good-naturedly at Romeo. "Just make sure all the doors is shut before you do, it's cold an' it looks like a blizzard's coming."

Romeo grinned. "Yessir," he saluted, then moved to close the shutters. He squinted out the window before he did so, trying to see through the dark night. "Youse right, Jack, the whole ground's covered with snow, and it ain't look like it's gonna stop soon."

"Well, let's hope it passes through by morning," Jack said, settling down into a chair. "Goodnight, Romeo."

"G'night, Mister Jack!" Romeo waddled off with some of the trays and bottles he'd picked up, and Jack chuckled softly to himself.

He sat for a few moments with his sketchbook, reveling in the quiet of the night, the only noise being the blowing of the storm outside and ticking of the clock. Moments later, his doorbell chimed.

Jack looked up in bewilderment. "A visitor? Who the hell's coming over at this hour?" He wondered aloud. He hurried to the door and ushered in his visitor.

A beautiful, spunky young woman stood in his doorway, a face all too familiar in Jack's mind. She juggled an assortment of things with great difficulty: a handbag, an umbrella, a notepad, and a dog and a cat held under each arm. Underneath her collection of items she wore a simple yet beautiful purple dress, and a matching feathered hat upon her head.

"Well, well, if it isn't Katherine Pulitzer!" Jack exclaimed, smile wide on his face.

Katherine mimicked his smile, though preoccupied with her belongings. "Yes, I knew you'd be surprised to see me," she said, as Jack closed the door behind her. "I mean, at this time of night, who wouldn't be? Here, take my umbrella and bag, please."

Jack took the items from her and set them to the side. "Youse right, I am quite amazed."

"I knew you'd be delighted as well," she added.

Jack's smile faltered a bit. "Oh, of course, I'm always delighted to see you," he said, a bit cheeky, though worry lay under his words. "But what brings you at such an hour? Your father'll be along shortly, right?"

Katherine let out a short laugh. "My father? Do you think I'd have come if my father were home? Take that telegram from my belt; I can't with Kate and Edith. Do you see it, the end sticking up there?" She nodded towards her waist, arms still full of cat and dog.

Jack's hand hovered over the slip of paper. "This?" He gingerly pulled it out from under her belt.

"That's it. Read it aloud." She almost sounded proud of herself.

Jack unfolded the paper and began reading. " _Dearest Katherine_."

"Just like a letter," Katherine chuckled, " _Dearest Katherine_. He was always so formal. Sorry, go on."

" _Dearest Katherine_ –"

"You read that." Katherine interrupted.

Jack's eyes darted between the paper and Katherine, lips slightly puckered. "So I did," he said, after a moment. He returned his eyes to the telegram. " _Accident and obstruction on the tracks below. Shall be detained here till noon tomorrow. Am in despair at thought of you remaining alone till then. May heaven have you in keeping till return of your distracted father._ "

" _Distracted father_ ," Katherine repeated with a laugh, "You could say that when I got it, I was distracted too! Though I am glad to get him out of my hair for a night. Will you put it back in my belt, please?"

Jack folded the paper, and with great difficulty, attempted to slip the paper back under her belt. He stood at nearly an arm's length away, awkwardly fumbling with the paper along her waist while simultaneously trying not to crinkle it. "So, uh, when did it come?" He asked, hoping to pull her attention away from whatever the hell he was doing.

"About an hour ago," Katherine replied. She stroked her dog and cat alternatively. "Oh, poor Kate and Edith, you were just as sweepy as could be, weren't you?" She cooed at them in baby talk.

Jack looked at her curiously, though with a slight grin. Katherine cleared her throat. "Sorry. That was weird."

Jack laughed, "No, no, it's fine," he said, despite the small nod of his head. "It was cute."

Katherine let out a forced, awkward laugh. "Right. Well, do you think you could give them a little corner for the night, Jack? I just couldn't leave them behind."

"Sure thing," Jack replied. He got close and scooped the pets out of Katherine's arms, then took them to a small room to the right, where he deposited them and closed the door. He returned to the parlor and found Katherine had settled down onto the sofa. "So, Kath, to what do I owe the honor of having such a lovely lady show up unexpectedly at my door?"

"You read the telegram – my father's worried sick about me. It's the first night I've spent without him, and knowing he'd be worried, I did some thinking."

"Oho, _thinking_ , you say!" Jack teased, "An' I suppose these were original thoughts, too?"

"Oh yes, entirely original." Katherine grinned.

"We's both know how smart you are, Miss Pulitzer. Might be too dangerous if youse start thinkin' too much."

"Oh, I should hit you, Jack Kelly," Katherine warned, though a wide grin spread across her face.

"Now tell me, what was you thinking?"

"I thought, 'now, what would my father want me to do under these circumstances?' And then the answer came to me:" she lowered her voice in a gruff imitation of Mr. Pulitzer, "'Go and spend the night with one of our friends, my dear daughter.'"

Jack turned away slightly, partially to hide his small smile and partially in disbelief. "I can't for one moment believe that your father would suggest that."

Pleased, Katherine sat up straight and proper and spoke with mock loftiness. "Do you presume to know Mr. Pulitzer better than his own daughter, Mr. Jack Kelly?"

"I know him well enough to know that he ain't trust me _that_ much," Jack replied, once again chuckling and shaking his head in disbelief at what an impossible girl sat in his parlor.

"How long have you known my father, Mr. Jack Kelly?" Katherine asked, well aware of the fact that they both knew the answer.

"Since I was a lil' boy on the streets, and since the passin' of my old man," Jack replied. "Ever since he offered me that job, he's had confidence in me – and as much as I hate to say it, that bastard's got my confidence, too."

"And that's exactly my point!" Katherine exclaimed. "When going through my father's friends who'd possibly offer a night's refuge, I said to myself, 'there is no one my father loves so much as Jack Kelly.'"

"Could'a sworn he just barely _tolerated_ me," Jack mumbled to himself. He turned to face Katherine. "So youse tellin' me you came here to spend the night?"

Katherine blinked at him, as if shocked it'd taken him this long to figure it out. "Of course. Er, well, at least part of it, since the night's already half gone," she glanced up at the clock.

Jack stared at her. _She intends to stay? All night? No, no, I can't have a girl staying over at my house – and Mr. Pulitzer's daughter no less – that just ain't right, what would people think if they found out?_

A smile then broke out across Katherine's face, "Oh, and it was so exciting, coming here through the night and snow. I just thought how nice it would be to sleep in that lovely guest chamber of yours." Her mischievous smile melted into a dreamy one as she gazed in the general direction of said room.

Jack took a moment to process her words, and then all other thoughts flew out the window. "Oh, really?" He sauntered over and sat down on the sofa next to Katherine, slinging an arm over the back as he looked at her. "It's just been redone. It's gorgeous; you wouldn't even believe it – a canopy bed; blue walls; curtains with those gold, shiny, stringy things–"

"Tassels?" Katherine provided.

"Yeah, those," he smiled sheepishly.

Katherine returned the smile. "Oh, how nice! Then to get up in the morning and have breakfast with you; you on one side of the table, and I on the other."

Jack closed his eyes and envisioned the scene. "No, I should sit next'a you."

"Alright then, next to me it is!" Katherine blurted. "And then I'd pour coffee and ask, 'sugar and cream, Jack? How many lumps?'" She spoke in a posh accent.

Jack chuckled. "Two lumps."

"Only two? I know you love sugar more than that, Jack," Katherine teased. "But to make up for it, I could call for Romeo to bring some pastries."

Jack, still forgetful of his dilemma, hummed to himself. "Mm, I love pastries."

"Yes, it'll go great with coffee," Katherine said, "It'll all be very nice."

"It would be very nice," Jack nodded in agreement, "A very nice morning…" The dream faded away, and suddenly his eyes shot open. "But we can't!"

Katherine stood up and approached a table with a tray of crackers. "Jeez, now I'm craving pastries." She put some crackers into her mouth, though it was clear that they didn't even begin to suffice. "But why can't we?" She asked, mouth still partially full.

Jack stood up to face her again. "Believe me, Kath, you really shouldn't stay here."

Her smile slowly faded. She put down her cracker and stared down mournfully at the silver tray. "Oh, well, I guess I made a mistake," she said, "You aren't glad to see me."

"No, no," Jack rushed forward and took her hands. "That's not true, I am _always_ happy to see you, Kath, more than anyone else," he looked down at their hands, voice growing softer. "But it's 'cuz of that – and 'cuz I'm your friend, and your father's friend – that it's best for youse to not be here."

Katherine withdrew her hand. "Fine," she said, her voice cold but wavering. "I'll leave at once, then. Do you have a telephone?"

"Yes?"

"Will you kindly ring for a carriage?"

Jack gave her a puzzled look. "Why not your own? I would offer mine."

"No, no, I don't want to trouble you," Katherine waved him off, a feigned smile on her face. "Our coachman is sick, I came from a city carriage; I can return in one, I'm sure."

"Oh, so you didn't come in your own carriage…" Realization crept up on him. "So your coachman, or your servants, they don't know youse here?"

Katherine huffed, impatient. She started towards her cloak and began to put it on. "No one but you knows I'm here."

Jack turned away, hand on his chin in thought. "So no one knows she's here…" He snuck a glance over his shoulder and watched as she gently dabbed at her eye with a handkerchief. With sudden resolution, he turned around and rushed after her.

"Wait, Katherine! Never mind what I said," Jack stammered. He reached his hand out, but withdrew it penitently. Katherine scoffed and rolled her eyes to the high heavens.

"'Never mind'? You implied and-or outright said that I'd better have stayed home! Let me guess, you want me to forget that you said any of that, right?"

"Uh… yes?"

"Forget it."

Jack reached out again, and this time took her hand. "Please, Kath, I beg of you. It would be a _great honor_ to have you stay tonight, under my roof. I mean it." He stared into her eyes, pleading and remorseful.

Katherine relented and let him hold her hand. "You are quite the egomaniac, Jack Kelly."

"No one knows better than you," Jack replied, grinning. Katherine couldn't help but smile back.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Jack jumped and became suddenly upset, pacing about the room.

"Jesus! Dammit, Conlon!"

"What's wrong, Jack, didn't you hear the bell? Has Romeo gone to bed?" Katherine asked. The bell rang a second time.

"No; yes – I'll open the door myself," he said incoherently, "It's someone I'm expecting on important business."

"Important business?" Katherine repeated, amazed. "Now? It's almost midnight! Who is it?"

"A bastard that would better never have been born, that's who," Jack replied. He grabbed Katherine's hand again and led her to the room where he'd disposed of her pets. "Do you mind staying in here until he leaves?"

"Uh, sure. Will he be long?"

"Only a few moments," Jack answered, distracted. He guided Katherine into the room, and then rushed to the front door as the bell rang a third time. He opened the door and his guest stepped in from the cold, brushing snow off his coat.

"Hello, Mr. Kelly. I believe we've met before, though I dare say you've forgotten." The man handed a business card to Jack. "Permit me – this card may possibly help to refresh your memory."

"I.A. Snyder…" Jack read.

"Reporter, occasional paragraphist, and special interviewer on staff of the _New York Morning Journal_."

"I can't recall the name, but I sure do recognize the face," Jack said, with the smallest hint of disgust. He led Mr. Snyder to the dining table and offered him a chair. "I ask you to stay as briefly as you can on this business that brings you here at such an untimely hour."

"Only happy to do so, Mr. Kelly," he replied as he sat down. "Though, there is no such thing as an untimely hour to a man's public life."

"I don't know about that, Mr. Snyder, but to a man's private life there sure is."

"Only your modest ways of putting it, Mr. Kelly; for you know you are at present an object of special interest to the public. Your friend, Mr. Conlon, kindly dropped by the _New York Morning Journal_ office on his return from the informal political gathering which he tells us assembled here tonight–"

"Damn Conlon!" Jack cursed.

"And in which you positively decline to represent your party before the convention, and formulated your reasons for doing so. Now–"

"It appears to me that Mr. Conlon's information has fully covered ground."

"By no means, my dear Mr. Kelly, by no means," Snyder continued. "Having this amount of good inside information on hand, naturally we thirsted for more. The hour was late, to be sure, and it was snowing – obstacles, I'll admit; but to men in my profession obstacles exist only to overcome. I jumped into a cab; away I drove; saw the porch light on–"

"God damn it," Jack cursed again.

"Rang the bell, and here I am." Snyder finished. His eyes scanned over the room, closely observing the details of the home as he spoke. Jack watched as his eyes took notice of Katherine's cloak and hat on a chair, and forced out a laugh.

"Servants will take liberties in bachelor establishments, that's fo' sure. You see where my housemaid leaves her things during my absence?" He nervously looked back at Snyder. "A-Anyway, just hurry and get this interview over with, won'tcha?"

Snyder pulled out a notebook from his suit pocket and sharpened his pencil. "It would be my pleasure, Mr. Kelly."

"Alright, whaddya wanna know? My political attitude? Opinions on the tariff?" Jack threw out, clearly disinterested and eager to get the conversation out of the way.

"It's reasonable of you to make these suggestions, Mr. Kelly, but you aren't quite getting it. Anyone can have opinions about the tariff and get them into print, but it's the little intimate details of a man's life – and daily life, that we want – that appeal to the sympathies of our American public. When, where, how were you born – word is that you were poor as a rat before you became successful," Snyder tapped his pencil against his notebook. "And then things like how many servants you keep, and how many horses? What time do you rise in the morning – if in the morning – and what do you eat for breakfast? These are merely suggestions, of course, which we can elaborate as we go along, and–"

Suddenly, a door opened and out poked Katherine's head. Snyder paused and a sly smile grew on his face.

"Sorry to interrupt," Katherine nodded curtly at the men, "But Jack, come here for a moment, please. It's about Edith's bed; she can't sleep on that hard Axminster rug, don't you know?"

Jack shot up out of his seat and scrambled to the door, leaving Snyder alone at the table. He snickered and began to write rapidly in his notebook.

"Well, Snyder, if this isn't worth a ten dollar raise in your salary, I don't know what is. Pulitzer's daughter? Mr. Hearst is going to _love_ this." He stood up and examined Katherine's belongings on the chair, picking it up and feeling it between his fingers. He scribbled down a few more things in his notes, and then looked pleased with the results. He read aloud from his book: "'Corruption in high circles. Mr. Jack Kelly's reasons for declining nomination won't hold water. A lady in the case. Daughter of a well known publisher implicated.'" He flipped the notepad shut. "A good night's work."

Jack returned just as Snyder was putting his notebook away. He coughed affectedly. "I see you have Miss Katherine Pulitzer for a guest, Mr. Kelly."

Jack straightened up. "Miss Pulitzer and her father are doing me that honor, sir."

"Ah, how uncommon," Snyder remarked.

"Not at all," Jack defended, "Happens all the time."

"Oh, of course. It's nothing. I was merely thinking of a telegram that came into the office an hour or so ago from the next town over," Snyder wondered aloud, hand on his chin. "Must have been a fake."

"The lady is _not_ Miss Pulitzer," Jack said forcefully.

"Not Miss Pulitzer! Well, upon my word, I could have sworn it was. Nothing so curious and interesting as these cases of mistaken identity."

Jack was driven up the wall. _God, I will do just about anything to get this bastard to leave my house_. He stood up and motioned for Snyder to do so as well. "The lady is Mrs. Jack Kelly, my wife! Now will you please excuse me, Mr. Snyder, from any further conversation, and let me bid you goodnight."

"Why, Mr. Kelly, you must perceive that this is a highly interesting piece of information!" Snyder exclaimed as Jack led him by the shoulders towards the door. "Permit me to present my felicitations, and to ask when the happy event was consummated?"

"I decline to discuss the subject further." Jack opened the front door as Snyder grabbed his coat.

"I understand then that we have your authority to make public the announcement of your marriage to Miss Katherine Pulitzer."

Jack nearly _screamed_. "I have nothing to say. Good evening, Mr. Snyder." Jack pushed him out the door before he even had the chance to say anything else.

Jack trudged back into the parlor and collapsed onto the couch with a groan. "Oh jeez, _what_ have I done?" He ran his hands down his face. "You really screwed up big time, Kelly. Wait till the press hears about _this!_ For once in my life I'll be lucky if I _don't_ make the front page. God, what do I do…?" Jack's mind raced through possible solutions, none of which that _wouldn't_ result in a slap to the face or a public scandal. In fact, most would probably result in both. "Her father's gonna murder me if she ain't get to it first."

With resolve, Jack got up and went down the hallway to Romeo's room. He threw open the door and knocked on the doorframe. "Romeo! Hey, Romeo! Get up!" With no response, Jack kicked poker chips, tongs, and other various items strewn across the floor with much clatter. "Romeo!"

A moment later, Romeo appeared at the door with a candle and disastrous bedhead, only half awake. "Did'ya hear that racket, Jack? I was dreamin' that my old man was comin' back from the dead."

Jack grabbed Romeo by the arm and dragged him out to the parlor. "Can you be trusted, Romeo?"

"Huh?" Went Romeo, sleepily.

"Listen," Jack grabbed him by the shoulders, "I've got myself in a situation."

"What kind?"

Jack quickly looked around, and then whispered, "I accidentally told a reporter for the Journal that Katherine Pulitzer and I was married."

"Yeah? So?"

"We ain't married, Romeo!" Jack exclaimed.

"Why don'tcha just marry her, then?" Romeo said, mind shaken both from sleep and the fact that Jack was physically shaking him by the shoulders.

Jack froze, the idea soaking in. "You know what… that ain't half bad. You ain't half bad, Romeo."

"Heh, yeah, I get that a lot," Romeo chuckled. Jack smacked him across the head.

"We have to act at once, then. There's very important work to be done here before morning, and youse gotta help me out. You know where the Reverend lives?"

"Th' preacher? Like I ain't pass by his house an' church more times than I–"

"Good," Jack interrupted, before Romeo could go off on a tangent. "I want you to go to his house."

"Tomorrow mornin'?"

"No, tonight. Right now. Tell him it's urgent, and if he won't come, make him."

"And I ain't s'posed to tell 'im youse going crazy, Jack?"

"No, no. But I'm dependin' on you to bring him, Romeo. Tell him I'm _dying_ if you have to, anything to make him come. Now go, an' be quick." He pushed Romeo towards the door.

Romeo stumbled into the snow and shook his head. "All the same, I'm gonna tell 'im poor Jack's losin' his mind."

Jack, alone again, shook his body out and took a deep breath. "Alright, Captain Jack, let's see if youse good enough to win a girl over in fifteen minutes." He approached Katherine's door and knocked.

A moment later, the door opened. "Oh, is your friend finally gone? He was here for a while." Katherine commented as she strolled out of the room.

"He ain't my friend."

"Either way, he looked to have a rather intelligent face."

"I think he's got the face of a fiend."

Katherine sat down on the ottoman. "Oh well, it doesn't matter. Look at how late it is! It's exciting to be up late, don't you think? My father would _never_ allow this."

Jack stood in front of her, arms crossed. The air around them was as serious and heavy as the blizzard outside. Sensing it, Katherine sent him a puzzled look.

"Kath, I need to speak with you about somethin'."

"Why, Jack, I don't think I've seen you so serious before!" She said with an awkward laugh.

"Well, it's important," Jack said with a shrug, looking away.

When Jack didn't continue, Katherine once again gave him a confused glance. "Is everything okay, Jack?"

Jack took a deep breath, and then met her eyes (her really, _really_ pretty eyes). His heart skipped a beat, and he almost thought he'd die before he got the chance to speak.

"I, uh," he started, "I wish to make you an offer of marriage."

Katherine's eyebrows shot up, but she swiftly dissembled her surprise. "Well, this is a strange time and place you've chosen to propose!"

"The time and place ain't up to me; it's been forced upon me."

Katherine's expression suddenly twisted. "Forced upon you! Fantastic!" She laughed dryly, "Perhaps this whole situation has been forced upon you, too?"

Jack winced and braced himself for impact. "It has."

Katherine stood up and began pacing around the poker chip-littered floor. "Unbelievable. I'm at a loss to understand why you suddenly – and in the middle of the night, no less – feel _forced_ to make me an offer of marriage." She stopped and turned towards him, chin up. "I decline it. Consider yourself rejected, Jack Kelly."

"No," Jack said, both out of denial and resolution. "No, I won't consider nothin' of the sort."

"Just as you like," she replied, "You don't need to. I consider you rejected, so it amounts to the same thing."

"Kath, please," he approached her, though didn't dare step too close. "Please understand, I ain't doing this selfishly, I'm only thinkin' of you, and your wellbeing and happiness. The peace of your future might depend on your marriage to me. I promise you there are reasons to this, reasons that shouldn't be ignored."

Katherine laughed hysterically. "So _this_ is an offer of marriage! I've never had one before, and I never want one again!" She had her fists clenched, and Jack took a step back.

A wave of guilt washed over Jack. _Aw, shit, I_ really _screwed up this time._

"So, Mr. Jack Kelly, you think that my future happiness depends on me becoming your wife? Well, allow me to inform you that you're horribly mistaken. The idea of being your wife has never entered my mind."

Jack sat down on the sofa, head buried in his hands. "Kath–"

"And so little does my future happiness depend upon your society, that I intend to quit it just as soon as I can!" Katherine continued.

"Katherine."

Blood still boiling, she replied, "Oh, what is it?"

"I…" Jack started. He gripped his hair in his hands. "I have another reason for wantin' to marry you, the strongest reason any man should have for wantin' a lady like you to be his wife." He looked up and shook his head, "Though I guess it's useless to mention it now. I've been… so clumsy, and an idiot. I understand if you hate me now."

"Oh, I should like to hear it, all the same – I suppose it is fully as startling as the one you already said." Katherine replied carelessly.

Jack rose and stood close to her, heart rattling in his chest. "Youse right to sneer at me, Katherine; I'm a fool. But… I am not asking you now to marry me. I only want to tell you how I love you." He bent his head close to hers fervently. "Oh, how I love you!" He whispered.

Katherine gave a little start of delight, but quickly covered it up and feigned doubt and indifference. "Oh, indeed? Another surprising disclosure!" She said, voice slightly labored.

Jack sighed. "I knews you wouldn't believe me. How can I expect you to, after all that's happened?"

"No: but these varying moods of yours are interesting. You say you love me." Her voice softened as she spoke.

"To distraction, Kath–"

"To distraction!" Katherine laughed. "May I ask, how long have you loved me to distraction?"

Jack clutched his chest. His voice was soft, yet distinct. "All my life."

Katherine, for a long moment, was silent. She stood and traced the toe of her boot along the floor, making little figures, deep in thought. Suddenly and resolutely, she faced him. "Jack, how can you say that? All night you've acted strange, and now, you tell me that you love me. I want to believe it. But why do you tell me that it has been always? If you do love me, confess, Jack, that it has only been for the past hour."

"I have only lived, Katherine, for the past hour."

Katherine moved to the window and gazed out at the dying blizzard. Jack followed her.

"And you, Kath?" He asked.

Katherine turned away shyly. "Oh – I don't know, Jack – but I believe I've lived a little longer than that."

Jack broke out into a smile. A small, happy laugh of relief bubbled out from his chest.

Jack was in love with the most beautiful, impossible girl in the world.

He pulled her into a hug.

They stood like that for a moment, embraced in front of the quelling storm.

Romeo appeared in the entryway, started in surprise, and turned his back. "I, uh, brought the preacher, Jack!"

Jack pulled away from Katherine. "Oh, tell the minister to come in, Romeo."

"The minister!?" Katherine exclaimed.

"To marry us, Kath."

"Now? Tonight?"

Jack took her hand and kissed it tenderly. "Why not tonight rather than tomorrow, if we love each other."


End file.
